Normal Nancy

Welcome to my world!

I am a normal 26-year-old vibrant young woman who deals (I refuse to say suffers) with anxiety, panic attacks and bouts of depression, but let’s back track just a bit…..Let me start this off by saying this is not going to be a “downer” type of blog. I believe people often think of those who are medicated for anxiety and/or depression as someone you just wouldn’t want to hang out with. They are always down in the dumps, always whining and complaining; I am hear to say that could not be further from the truth.

My Story:

I had a really fucking fantastic childhood. I have these extraordinary parents who love me so much I can see it hurting their hearts every time something negative happens to me.

My dad spent 20 years in the military and then “retired” to go back to medical school and become a doctor (a little bit of an inspiration to say the least!). My mom is a school teacher and the funniest/raunchiest but most kind-hearted woman you will ever meet. I am letting you in on these things because I don’t have some demented past that has caused me to deal with anxiety (stereotypes are not your friend).

In high school I started dealing with an eating disorder, I took drastic measures to get thin. I would starve myself for days and then binge like you have never seen a 120 pound woman go at food before. The amount of food I could consume was actually disgusting, and so embarrassing. I went on living this way for a few years and finally took control of my life once I got into college. I involved myself in cognitive behavioral therapy and was prescribed antidepressants. I will tell you these pills changed my life. I am not saying they made things simple, but they allowed me to work to change my ways.

I took antidepressants for a year or so and then weened myself off since everything felt good. A few years later I find myself graduated with a Master’s degree, in a great job, and merely months from getting married and then an ugly old friend showed his head (yes it’s a him, lets face it men are the mean ones!). No, I didn’t start having an eating disorder again, but I did start having these HORRIBLE bouts of anxiety. I had dealt with anxiety a bit when I was younger, mostly at sleepovers and random nights, but nothing that didn’t go away in a few minutes. More recently anxiety began taking over my life. It was hard to concentrate, I began to feel very dizzy at times, and I would have random panic where I would get tunnel vision and feel like the world was imploding around me.

The cool thing about having dealt with mental health problems in the past is that I knew when to ask for help. I set up an appointment with a family practitioner and after a great appointment where I was very honest (honesty is KEY at the doctor) I was given a prescription for lexapro for daily usage and xanax, the lowest dosage you can get, to handle my random panic.

It’s been almost a month since I was on the lexapro and things are looking up in a big way. I can concentrate on work again, I am sleeping at night, and I am enjoying the last few days I have as an unmarried woman.

I feel the need to divulge all of this first for a few reasons. 1) I want to share my back story and 2) I want to put a face to the name of people with anxiety/depression. I am not weird, I am not sad, I am not Debbie Downer, in fact let’s just call me Normal Nancy.

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  1. August 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm

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